chronicling a mental illness that is destroying people from the inside out
Unpredictable decisions, inconsistency, inability to stay in one place. Emotional swings, fear of loneliness, dissociation. Heightened sensitivity. Loss and inability to answer a simple question: who am I?
This is how people with BPD, one of the most ambiguous and difficult to diagnose mental illnesses, live.
10% of people with BPD commit suicide
Another 70% of people with BPD self-injure without a desire to commit suicide
Unstable relationship
A blurred view of his own identity
Difficulty understanding your desires, setting goals, evaluating your work. Imposter syndrome, the eternal "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up" syndrome
Mood swings
The rapid admiration and equally rapid disillusionment with people, the emotional swings, the love-hate cycle
The ability to find happiness or to burst into tears dozens of times a day. Vivid emotions that cannot be controlled, even if the occasion is insignificant
Impulsive behaviors
Reckless spending of money, alcohol and substance abuse, compulsive overeating, leaving yourself in a dangerous situation
Feeling the world as if through a layer of thick absorbent cotton, disconnecting from one's own body, especially in times of great stress
Uncontrolled anger
Sensory irritation at every sound, wanting to yell at people, break and burn things
Failure to establish sleeping and eating patterns, overeating and starvation, ignoring doctors, self-injury or even suicide attempts
Endless thoughts of worst-case scenarios, second-guessing people, feeling like everyone hates you and the world is against you
Sabotage of success
The desire to get out of a stable relationship, to leave a good job, to move, just because being in the same place is boring
Fear of being abandoned, of being left without a relationship, the desire to impose oneself on someone else
Panicky fear of loneliness
Borderline personality disorder is caused by a number of factors and affects the basic components of personality. That is, there is simply no specific cause that triggers the processes of BPD.
any person
At risk may be
It is known that this diagnosis is more common in women than men, and that in almost all cases of BPD, its driver is profound emotional distress.
Most researchers agree that a combination of two groups of factors contributes to the development of BPD:
stress and trauma
heredity and environment
Sexual, physical or emotional abuse, persistent feelings of fear or abandonment during childhood years, family problems, repressed feelings of anger, anxiety and sadness.
BPD can be inherited, but more often, borderlines emerge as unconsciously borrowed patterns of behavior and reactions to external stimuli from significant adults.
BPD is difficult to diagnose.
disorder is in a gray area: to a lesser extent, its symptoms are characteristic of many people
patients often deny or minimize the complexity of their condition, or sabotage treatment
the specialist must assess the severity of symptoms, but these are subjective, as is the patient's vision
If a person is examined, they are more likely to attribute their problems to other diagnoses.
It is believed that a minimum of five symptoms must be expressed for a diagnosis to be made.
Recognize the facts
You can't remake your loved one's character. His emotional sphere is his area of responsibility. You can only accept the fact and provide the necessary support that you are ready to give. At the stage of acceptance, the struggle with reality stops.
Ask what words and actions on your part make your loved one feel safe and secure, what reactions are effective in times of emotional ups and downs. Don't read minds. Ask questions and clarify details.

Determine your willingness to give what your loved one wants to receive. If you are not ready, don't sacrifice yourself and honestly communicate that you are not able to help.
Ask questions
Develop a communication plan
Agree with your loved one under what conditions and in what format you are willing to listen and support them, with mutual respect for boundaries. Which topics are taboo and which ones you are willing to discuss openly. The communication plan should take into account the interests of both partners.
Identify and set your personal boundaries
Explore your values and needs, predetermine your reactions in different situations, and talk to your loved one about these reactions in case he or she neglects your interests. Talk to your loved one about your condition, what your needs are in different situations, how you should and should not interact with them.
be together
The best thing you can do is to perceive the person appropriately, notice their feelings, and stay in touch while remembering to take care of yourself.
BPD is a difficult diagnosis, but the situation is not hopeless. The disorder is correctable with a psychologist and psychiatrist. It is important to seek help and undergo diagnosis.
You can find a suitable specialist on BPS
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The author would like to thank Anya Melnyk and the team at The Citadel School.
Anastasia Titova
talked about complicated diagnosis
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